Movie reviews – Rambo 4 and the Fast and the Furious

I watched the movie Rambo 4 yesterday. The plot is that rambo needs to save a group of missionaries in Burma from a sadistic group of Burmese soldiers. The movie pretty much starts out with Rambo and a whole bunch of sadistic Burmese soldiers that go around exterminating villages as they please, and ends with just Rambo.

Then we continued to watchThe Fast and the Furious. Nuff said.

Yesterday evening was pretty much a waste of time. However, we had a good laugh at Rambo 4, and an even better laugh at the rediculous depiction of street racer culture in The Fast and the Furious. Rambo 4 was just awesome, with blood and guts flowing all over the place. I usually don’t advocate these movies but every once in a while a man needs to watch a movie like this in order to feel like a man, apparently. The budget for the film was apparently pretty high and the result is quite realistic. Good shots of people being shot in half (literally) by a .50 caliber machine gun. Rambo doesn’t always get close and personal in this movie, he will also just shoot trucks full of Burmese soldiers like fish in a barrel with afforementioned machine gun.

The Fast and the Furious… well what can I say? The movie starring Paul Walker as Brian o’Connor, a latently homosexual undercover cop with the unprofessional tendency to fall in love with the sister of the one he’s supposed to be following, thus confusing his work and private life. Some of the car scenes in this movie are simply rediculous. The 10 second races seem to last quite a bit longer than that, don’t they? And a famous quote from Jesse (one of the characters): “There’s something about engines that just calms me down”. Sure. Especially tuned-up engines with big, unmuffled exhausts that produce 100+ decibels, revving up to 7000+ rpm are really soothing. And another one from Dominic Toretto (played by the aptly named Vin Diesel), claims that during a 10 second race, he is completely free. Yeah, that must be what freedom is like: going one direction only for a mere 10 seconds, knowing that the slightest error can and will cost you your life if you crash into anything. How often would this guy race? Twice a week, maybe. Let’s be generous and say he races twice a day. That means 20 seconds of freedom per day. Now I might be slightly depressed every now and then, but with 20 seconds of “absolute freedom” per day I’d probably use that time to kill myself.

Other really dumb quotes:
“You owe me a 10-second car”
“He moans like a cop”
“Brian Spilner. Typical white boy name.”
“It’s not how you stand by your car, it’s how you race your car.”
“You can have any brew you want… as long as it’s a Corona.”
“Now, me and the mad scientist got to rip apart the block… and replace the piston rings you fried.” (Later on, you will see the car with burned piston rings outrun a few cops. Fried piston rings means little to no compression in your cylinders –> no power to your wheels. That is, if the engine will even run.)

Don’t bother watching the Fast and the Furious, rather spend (waste?) your time watching Rambo 4.

~ by bigphil1004 on April 2, 2008.